Stressed, Unstressed: What the Dothraki Language Taught Me About Activism and Self Care

By Reuben “Tihi” Hayslett

In 2015, the author’s self-care routine involved learning the Dothraki language from Game of Thrones by practicing pronunciation in private. At that time, they identified as both an activist and writer but had abandoned writing to focus solely on campaign work against corporations and politicians. Despite some campaign victories, they experienced severe burnout alongside a herniated disc causing chronic pain.

The author felt trapped—both physically by pain and structurally within progressive organizations that reproduced the same systemic inequalities they fought against externally. Lacking burnout vocabulary, they described their state as “stuck,” “frustrated,” and “stressed.”

A Turning Point

Attending the Center for Story-based Strategy’s Advanced Training marked a turning point. The “Imagination Sprints” exercises allowed them to reconnect with play and creativity. As they note: “Play is how we imagine different worlds so that we can move towards and build them.”

After the training, the author decided to seriously pursue Dothraki. They began with sounds, progressed through grammar, and eventually achieved fluency over four years. The language became meaningful beyond linguistic study—Dothraki employs embodied metaphors (being “annoyed” is being “itchy”; “anxiety” manifests as a screaming stomach) and reflects anti-capitalist values with no word for money.

On Play and Activism

The author faced skepticism from family, friends, and activist peers: “Why are you learning a fake language?” They identify an underlying assumption that constructed languages lack legitimacy and that serious activists cannot engage in play. They counter that imagination and joy fuel sustained justice work.

Learning Dothraki transformed the author similarly to their Advanced Training experience, leaving them feeling “unstuck, unfrustrated, unstressed.”

Reuben “Tihi” Hayslett (where “Tihi” means “behold” in Dothraki) is a queer activist, writer, and storyteller. They’ve worked as an online campaigner for the Working Families Party and currently lead tech-sector campaigns at Demand Progress. They hold an MFA in Creative Writing and published Dark Corners, a short story collection.